2008 Woodie Awards
He said/She said:
What those cliche break-up lines really mean
Lindsey Nelsen and John Rickgarn
Issue date: 2/1/06 Section: Features
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In this week's He said/She said, John and Lindsey unravel the mysteries behind what those over-used break-up lines really mean.
"I just want to be friends."
She said: If I heard this from a guy, I would think it means any or all of three things. One, I do not turn his crank in the attraction department; two, somebody else does; or three, he does not like me. I do not know of anyone who really anticipates going back to a friendship with someone they dated for a while. This line is mostly a lie. Same thing goes for a gal. She does not want to be friends with him either, and I think it means the same thing it does for guys. This line is a lie that means I am just not into you. I think that the dumper should just come out and say it, because at least the one who got dumped will know what went wrong for the next relationship.
He said: To me, when I have heard this line (a number of times I might add) it is the "polite" form of saying I am not interested in you. Sometimes I later find out they found someone else. On a RARE occasion, it can be taken at face value and that the relationship is better off based on friendship and nothing more. Overall, this line seems to be used most often and can be called a one-size-fits-all breakup line.
"It's not you, it's me"
He said: This one is a little more specific, but still vague. Granted, some couples are better off just taking a break from the steady relationship. Sometimes school, work, friendships or other things going on in their lives can be a burden on a long-term or even a short-term relationship. If someone does use this line, they better give specifics otherwise it sounds like a lame excuse and there will be a millions "why?"s and "what if?"s going through the other person's head.
She said: I think this is another excuse not to tell the other person what is wrong. If it were something with the person doing the dumping, they would just come out and say it. To me, this means something to the effect of "I think you dress bad, and I can't change you" or something more or less trivial. Basically, the one is not sure about the relationship and rather than blaming the other person, they just say they are not ready for the relationship.
"I just want to be friends."
She said: If I heard this from a guy, I would think it means any or all of three things. One, I do not turn his crank in the attraction department; two, somebody else does; or three, he does not like me. I do not know of anyone who really anticipates going back to a friendship with someone they dated for a while. This line is mostly a lie. Same thing goes for a gal. She does not want to be friends with him either, and I think it means the same thing it does for guys. This line is a lie that means I am just not into you. I think that the dumper should just come out and say it, because at least the one who got dumped will know what went wrong for the next relationship.
He said: To me, when I have heard this line (a number of times I might add) it is the "polite" form of saying I am not interested in you. Sometimes I later find out they found someone else. On a RARE occasion, it can be taken at face value and that the relationship is better off based on friendship and nothing more. Overall, this line seems to be used most often and can be called a one-size-fits-all breakup line.
"It's not you, it's me"
He said: This one is a little more specific, but still vague. Granted, some couples are better off just taking a break from the steady relationship. Sometimes school, work, friendships or other things going on in their lives can be a burden on a long-term or even a short-term relationship. If someone does use this line, they better give specifics otherwise it sounds like a lame excuse and there will be a millions "why?"s and "what if?"s going through the other person's head.
She said: I think this is another excuse not to tell the other person what is wrong. If it were something with the person doing the dumping, they would just come out and say it. To me, this means something to the effect of "I think you dress bad, and I can't change you" or something more or less trivial. Basically, the one is not sure about the relationship and rather than blaming the other person, they just say they are not ready for the relationship.