The Spur

SMSU controls weather and tries to delay graduation

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

April 26, 2018


Filed under Commentary, Satire

Several months back, The Kale introduced the SMSU community to the Toddler to Adult Center for New Graduates—or T.A.C.N.G. for short. Recent research shows that, along with the change to the title of the facility, SMSU has updated some if its policies regarding this new resource. For those who are no...

Presidential Parade

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

March 2, 2018


Filed under Commentary, Satire

Recently, news got out that President Trump wanted to host a military parade to showcase the prowess of the United States. The idea came when President Trump watched a Bastille Day parade in France. From there, talks have reportedly explored ideas but none have come to fruition—until now. Parades ...

Students aren’t drinking alcohol at Hawaiian Night

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

February 12, 2018


Filed under Commentary, Satire

Feb. 3 saw Hawaiian Night arrive at SMSU once again. The traditional night showcased men’s and women’s basketball games. Students typically attend games dressed in Hawaiian or tropical attire. It’s also a tradition that many students drink on the day to have a better time at the games. To most peop...

Purpose behind SMSU’s waffle ceilings

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

January 27, 2018


Filed under Commentary, Satire

Many of you may have noticed the ceilings around campus. A lot of them are the typical type of flat ceilings that you would find in a home or office building. However, in the lower level of the Student Center, as well as in the traditional dorm rooms, there are strangely shaped ceilings reminiscent of ...

Holiday gift advice

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

December 8, 2017


Filed under Commentary, Satire

It can be a bit difficult this Holiday season to try and find the perfect gift for a family member, friend or significant other. The Kale is here to help you with this issue, as well as other issues that may come up. For those people who prove difficult to shop for, providing a handmade gift may be...

Pennywise visits campus, leaves tell tale red balloon

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

November 3, 2017


Filed under Commentary, Satire

There’s been a lot of hype across the nation about the newest It remake. The movie was met with mixed feelings, so the antagonist of the movie, Pennywise, decided to make his way across the country to talk about it. Typically, a lot of misery follows Pennywise. However, when he came to the SMSU campus...

Toddler to adult center made for new grads

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

October 19, 2017


Filed under Commentary, Satire

It is widely believed that when those in college graduate, it means that they have finally evolved into their fledgling adult forms, and are ready to mature to their fully evolved form of a middle-aged adult in the coming years. Recent research shows that this train of thought is all wrong. Kimberly...

SMSU Planning Committee loves last-minute ideas

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

September 29, 2017


Filed under Commentary, Satire

Many SMSU students, faculty, staff and alumni have been making plans to attend SMSU’s 50th anniversary celebration and are dreading the end of the festivities. One group of individuals, however, could not be more ecstatic as the end of the celebration draws near: the 50th anniversary planning commi...

The Brussels Sprout is out, and the Kale is in

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

September 29, 2017


Filed under Commentary, Satire

Many of you may remember last year’s satirical column, The Brussels Sprout. Cole Miska was the writer of this column, and we at The Spur couldn’t have asked for a better satire writer. But, he needed to take a lesson from Elsa and let it go. Cole was an all-around good guy. He was open, friendly...

Most students raised in education cannot survive the wild

Cole Miska, A&E Editor

April 20, 2017


Filed under Commentary, Satire

A shocking new study reveals that most humans, when taken from the wild at a young age and raised in an indoor, simulated, educational environment, do not stand a chance when released to live on their own in the wild. Bardford Stout, a professor at Façade University in Brussels, was the head resea...

Clones created to relieve RA shortage

Clones created to relieve RA shortage

Grant Kleiman and Fernando Tabares

March 30, 2017


Filed under Satire, Top Stories

On Feb. 24, the Spur reported that there were new resident assistants hired to relieve the shortage of current RAs as soon as possible. Unfortunately, not enough new RAs were hired to fill all of the available positions. In response, the SMSU administration has called upon several biology professors to...

Trump’s credible sources

Caleb Herrlich, Staff Writer

March 30, 2017


Filed under Commentary, Satire

On March 23, The Atlantic published an article worrying about the message that President Trump is sending the U.S. When the president says it, that means it’s true. Well, wait, President Trump doesn’t just say things. He has always followed his comments with a plethora of support. Sometimes, it seems...

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