The Spur

Obama is actually antifreeze

Cole Miska, A&E Editor

September 22, 2016


Filed under Commentary, Satire

In a shocking turn of events last night, local cultist group Cultspiracy Theory attempted to summon US President and Antichrist, Barack Obama, but confusingly came up with nothing but a bottle of antifreeze. “I just don’t get it,” said Cultspiracy’s Grand Chancellor Lizara Nelson. “We all know O...

The Story Behind Stanger – Satire

Cole Miska, A&E Editor

April 14, 2016


Filed under Commentary, Satire

Everyone knows our beloved mascot at SMSU, Stanger, but how many know his story? Stanger originally came to SMSU as a freshman studying poultry science back in 1971.  Stanger was a student with a 4.00 GPA until late 1972, when he ended up with the wrong crowd. The first semester of his sophomore yea...

Nudist Dorm Proposed

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

March 31, 2016


Filed under Satire

It is SMSU tradition that certain dorms will be housing certain majors, such as Charisma being the dorm for Agriculture majors. There are new rumors of an entirely new Living and Learning Community (LLC): a nudist dorm. Students were very opinionated on whether or not the concept should be approved....

Mothman Sighting

Andrew Bradley, Staff Writer

March 31, 2016


Filed under Satire

On Mar. 25, three students of SMSU spotted a winged figure around campus. The first student was Mathew Whitte, a sophomore. “I was on my way to lunch when I looked up and saw something black. I then realized that it was something like a cross between a man and an owl,” White said. The second stud...

Heartbreaking: Mathematics Major Discovers Student Athletes Can’t Give 110%

Kevin Danielson, News Editor

March 31, 2016


Filed under Satire

While preparing for the Undergraduate Research Conference, SMSU mathematics major Justin Rhoades made a shocking discovery. “I was going through some formulas, and something just didn’t add up,” Rhoades said. For his project, Rhoades analyzed the relationship between the content of a coach...

Leprechaun Two Weeks Late

Cole Miska, A&E Editor

March 31, 2016


Filed under Commentary, Satire

On the morning of Wednesday, Mar. 30, a frustrated, drunk leprechaun was spotted rampaging across the campus of SMSU. The leprechaun was reportedly looking for a St. Patrick’s Day party, not realizing that St. Patrick’s Day had already occurred on Mar. 17, two weeks prior. “Howya, where’s the hooley?,” the v...

Nuclear Reactor Found in SMSU’s Lost and Found

Martin Olsen, Staff Writer

March 31, 2016


Filed under Commentary, Satire

On Mar. 28, public safety’s night team found a unique object laying in the Bellow’s Academic/Charter Hall Link after receiving complaints about a moment of extreme light pollution emanating from the area.  A desk-sized cold fusion reactor, the only one of its kind, was left on the floor next to ...

Club Spotlight: The Spur

Kaleigh Farrelly, Staff Writer

March 31, 2016


Filed under Commentary, Satire

This week’s Club Spotlight is focusing on the very newspaper that you are reading now: The Spur. The Spur is a place for like-minded people to meet and write articles for the local campus newspaper. “Nicole Schwing is the editor-in-chief of the newspaper, and when I first met her, I thought th...

Satire – Mexicans Burn Donald Trump

Fernando Tabares, Sports Editor

March 31, 2016


Filed under Commentary, Satire

Every Easter, artisans in Mexico burn effigies of unpopular Mexican politicians in the annual “Burning of Judas” ritual, but this year they decided to change things up and set fire to Republican front runner Donald Trump. According to the USA Today, Mr. Trump angered many people in Mexico when he p...

Connie Doors’ Secret Identity

Cole Miska, A&E Editor

March 31, 2016


Filed under Commentary, Satire

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s just Marshall’s own super hero, Connie Doors. But behind the mask, who is this hero, who has doors strapped to her arms and legs, flapping them wildly in order to fly across the night skies of Marshall and preserve justice? An independent investigation has revea...

Brussels Sprout: Objectivity in Journalism Declared to be Biased

Cole Miska, A&E Editor

March 17, 2016


Filed under Commentary, Satire

In a flat-out shocking turn of events Friday, Feb. 5, American Journalism Review, Society of Professional Journalists, The Poynter Institute for Media Studies, The Associated Press and Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press came together in a conference and unanimously declared that objectivity i...

Satire: Delinquents Banished After Neglecting St. Patrick’s Day Customs

Martin Olsen, Staff Writer

March 1, 2016


Filed under Commentary, Satire

St. Patrick’s Day is a day of celebration focusing primarily on Irish culture.  People talk about leprechauns, they search for gold, and, most importantly, they wear green. Green is the color of St. Patrick’s Day.  It is the color of luck, four leaf clovers, and leprechauns.  Anyone who understands and appreciates St. Patr...

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