The Spur

SugarBeat: Still a Better Love Story Than Twilight

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In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, a worldwide poll was conducted in order to determine the greatest love story of all time.  Thousands of potential stories were nominated in a wide variety of different mediums, everything from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet to that Vine where the momma cat snuggles her baby kitten.

The results are in, and they’re not quite what we expected.  There was a lot of hype on social media sites over what would be chosen; some bets were even made.  The favorites to win were the first ten minutes of Pixar’s “Up” as well as the timeless couple Wesley and Buttercup in “The Princess Bride”.

It seems that a voracious group of internet trolls got wind of this survey.  They came out in droves from the deepest darkest corners of their mothers’ basements to skew the survey in their favor.  Still, as a reputable news source we have a duty to report only the facts.  Here are the top ten love stories, as determined by… *sigh*… the internet.

10. Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth.  Come on, guys, they broke up a long time ago, that’s not even funny.

9. Dumbledore and man.  Seriously?  I know Dumbledore’s gay, but the least you internet trolls could have done was provide a name instead of a gender.  Some kind of Harry Potter name like Bartholomew Pigsniffle.

8. Pikachu and his bottle of ketchup from that one episode of Pokemon.  Okay, I kinda get that one.

7. Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke.  How did Miley Cyrus get on this list twice?

6. Justin Bieber.  Apparently enough said?

5. Frodo and Sam from “The Lord of the Rings”.  Well, it is one of the greatest bromances of all time.

4. Me and Righty.  I’m not even sure what this really means.  Probably just gibberish.

3. Anna and Hans from “Frozen”.  Well, joke’s on you, internet trolls, I guess you haven’t seen all of “Frozen”.

2. Dean Winchester and Castiel.  I guess those Destiel Supernatural Fanfictions have started to bleed over into reality.

1. Annnd… Twilight has been voted the number one love story of all time.  That one’s probably right, though.  I mean, seriously.  What’s sexier than a pale, freezing cold, slightly hairy body of 100+ year-old man?  Especially played by Robert Pattinson, the handsome devil.  There is some truth to this list after all.  Sexy vampires will always be a part of history as the sexiest sex that sex has ever seen.

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SugarBeat: Still a Better Love Story Than Twilight