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Chris Fable: Bad Movie Review

Cole Miska, A&E Editor

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The Adventures of Chris Fable: Time to Believe was a movie I found in a dollar store. Not just any dollar store, mind you. I found this DVD, brand new, in a Canadian Dollar Store (also known as an American 76 cents store). Was it worth the cost? The answer to that question depends entirely on how you want to watch this movie.

Those looking for a fun, family friendly, faith-based adventure will be mortified by the low quality, boring and almost senseless movie that is Chris Fable. On the other hand, those looking to have a good laugh at the expense of a cheaply produced, quickly made movie will think Chris Fable is a masterpiece.

The movie starts off with Chris, a thief, running through an abandoned trailer park with a police offer in close pursuit. He escapes by hiding in a church, where he meets a preacher. The preacher decides she wants to be the most convenient plot device ever by not only convincing Chris to turn his life around in a matter of a single montage, but also miraculously knowing his father and telling him that he is looking for Chris. Chris then leaves the junkyard of thieves he lives in on a soul-searching quest to… have a lot of senseless, random encounters.

The rest of the movie devolves into senseless moments that are essentially irrelevant to the plot. Within half an hour, Chris has run into a salesman who throws meaningless words around for three minutes, been attacked by a swamp monster, saved by a boy scout, walked through fields for at least ten minutes, and been attacked by robots. Many other poorly thought out encounters follow.

Perhaps the best part of the movie is the hilariously bad characters. Characters are given over the top, multi-minute introductions only to never be seen again. Evil characters are without motivation besides being purely evil and are incredibly one-dimensional. Actor Larry Laverty, who plays Iggy, seems to take his entire role as a joke. The names of characters are the exact opposite of subtle; two of Chris’ friends are Hope and Faith (who he loses and finds several times throughout the movie), while a bad guy is named Luc, which may or may not be short for Lucifer.

For how ridiculous the roles are, most of the actors did a fair job. The main actor, Soloman Ray, kept consistent in his portrayal of Chris as a perseverant and calm person. Most minor characters’ performances are at least fair.

The movie is of a mixed quality when it comes to getting its message across. The ending seems unresolved at best, and pointless at worst. The writers did a fair job of hiding some bible references throughout the movie. Other references are about as subtle as Faith’s name. A David and Goliath reference, which was not even in the least bit veiled, can be guessed about 40 minutes before it happens.

From a condescending viewpoint, a wonderful thing about the movie is the pacing. Many bad movies seem to go at a snail’s pace and get boring, even when watching to make fun of them. In Chris Fable, the poorly animated action or awful dialogue is so commonplace that it is impossible to get tired of the movie. Around every horridly done transition is a new CGI effect or one dimensional character that would be cringe worthy if anyone could take the movie seriously.

In short, viewers looking for a fun and meaningful fantasy adventure, take a pass. On the other hand, viewers looking for the exact opposite of meaningful and quality have found the perfect movie.

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Chris Fable: Bad Movie Review