The Spur

Holiday gift advice

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It can be a bit difficult this Holiday season to try and find the perfect gift for a family member, friend or significant other. The Kale is here to help you with this issue, as well as other issues that may come up.
For those people who prove difficult to shop for, providing a handmade gift may be the best thing that you can get them. Instead of doing something fancy like knitting or crocheting, retrace your roots to your younger years. Finger-painted abstract portraits are in this season, and the less that they look like the person, the better.
Do you have that one guy in your family who’s a little off? You know who I’m talking about: that one cousin or uncle who you don’t like to mention? We all know those kinds of people, and when they come over for Christmas, it’s just a big race to see what you can get them.
Try giving them a neutral gift, something that everyone would like, such as a snow globe of Frosty or Santa. Christmas classics also work, like a DVD of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which isn’t very expensive compared to the newer movies.
Or, if someone else in your family completely doesn’t come, just give them a gift card and be done! Better yet; send them a card that passive-aggressively calls them out on promising to come to Christmas but making excuses every single year for four straight years. I’m looking at you, Janice.
Everyone in the family knows the handyman, he loves the outdoors. Whether it’s engineering or farm work, you can get them a cheap gift, so cheap that it will just cost you time! If the person likes their cars, find some spare, useless parts. You can make a wonderful sign of their favorite saying, or just their “nickname” of their shop. “Get-er-done!” is one that most would enjoy and smile at each time they see it.
If they like farming and don’t have anything but a shed for their tools, you can make your own! Simply make one large Lincoln Log handle with a sturdy, sharp, metal end. Just take out your handy duct tape, and put them together! Once you have that done, paint the handle in whatever color you want. A little tip: paint it a dark brown or camouflage color so it’s less likely to be seen if you think it’s bad, which it’ll surely be. It’ll get a few good laughs out of them.
Of course, nobody can forget the seasonal family classic: the clown. Does someone in your family love balloons, but hate the hassle of blowing them up? Do they like to be entertained, but don’t feel like leaving the house? Pennywise’s School of Clowning Around is here to help!
These professional clowns have many skills, including making balloon animals, driving in small cars and scaring young children. If you or anyone you know would like to book a professional clown, please contact Penny at 1-800-RED-BALLOONS. Mention ‘Georgie’ for a 25% discount on group parties.
If you need more tips on what to get your family members that you have a love/hate relationship with, keep reading The Kale!

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Holiday gift advice